Let me hear you call my name.
Jacinta.July 1988 just the way you are. simplistic yet loving. More than words.
I know you love me, too.
*year-end trip with sweets!*graduation trip? *sleepovers! *wedding planner classes! *early childhood classes? *longchamp/kate spate bag *watch *a pair of new sunglasses You were here too?
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tired...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
so fast, tml reaches the last day of october..then we will be moving into the month of nov. feeling slightly tired today..woke up at 7 plus this morning, just to go out and have breakfast with my family...then been at home watching vcd...wang zi bian qing wa...nice happy ending...hahas...been listening to 5566's 3rd album today...must be thinking i m crazy le...keep on listening...hahas...i am always like this de, whenever i get a new album , i will listen to it almost non-stop...hahas...terrible rite... getting out with sister and shuting tml...so must turn in first cos before all that, i have morning classes early in the morning...;) hmmz..
Saturday, October 29, 2005
its a saturday nite...and i supposed it is gonna to rain later on, heard thunder...oh ya, forgot to mention about this yesterday, my sis got her results and they are good...i feel so...6As out of 10 subjects she is taking...;)got the 5566 gan ban version of their 3rd album, their MVs are nice la...went thru' them once just now le...then busy watching the wang zi bian qing wa part 3...not yet done with it...but soon, supposed tml ba...the storyline follows on a fairytale...but in reality, it will happen given in some circumstances...but often when ppl meet up with a fairytale, it is a dream...that makes no one wants to wake up, facing the reality...when this happens, it is just called self-deceiving...no point to decieve oneself when we know very well that it wouldn't happen the way we expect them to be, so it is time that we should wake up, get clear about things...i might be mentioning all these stuffs these days, but often what i can think, is what i can't apply on my own...? --maybe. my way...
Friday, October 28, 2005
practically it has reached friday again...the last day of the weekdays schedule...school is started to get hectic since it has started for two weeks...and did i mention...? i think i did...my best buddy is back in singapore since last sat...safe and sound...need to meet up with her...i know its only a month or so...miss her lots...just need to know how is she physically...my life seems to be filled up with everything that it seems to be having...family members, my best buddy, my frens ard, normal problems and worries, happiness and joy, tears and sorrows...but doesn't it seems to just lack of that single one factor...? all along i thought that i might have found that particular him... but perhaps all along, i was wrong...? or perhaps he might have walked past me without me knowing, might have taken the same route once or maybe i have stopped but he had continued walking on, living his life...who knows..? or maybe, he is just somewhere around, but in any case i couldn't feel his presence around...or perhaps some day i will...? when? some ppl choose to cling on to the past when it doesn't belong to theirs anymore...some choose to give up that hope even if they know that by taking another few steps, they will get it already...some ppl choose to hold on to their belief that the same old person still have feelings for them...while some ppl just miss their chances without even them knowing that they have slide past each other... some ppl know that they have each other in their heart, but they choose to keep slience about it, some know that it is not going to happen, yet they still choose to keep in slience about it...aren't all these processes tiring...? some ppl might feel that not having the love factor makes their lives easier...maybe leading a single life is better than double...it saves the time spent on quarrels, arguments...but it loses the meaning of happiness, feelings... just have to learn to give up on things that no longer can be within the sight of your eyes...things that are out of your reach, and feelings that has been gone since it disappear from the heart...just have to accept that all these are controlled...that they are fated...or maybe it was just for one to flip to another page of a new chapter in the heart...for a new beginning...becos one knows, even if the new chapter was boring, all they need to do was to flip it back to the previous page... -- perhaps all i need to do was just to flip to another page and read on till fate has arrived... some close frens when reading this, must be thinking, silly me, why am i still thinking about such things when they will come on their own when time comes...? but it is impossible not to think about it, much less about forgetting it...it is a type of torture to wait, a type of pain to suffer...though fate is taking its time to come around, but to be sure of is that, it has always been around one, just like the shadow, cannot be seen, but it is always with one... -- my actions? my life?
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
haven been able to blog in yesterday due to the microsoft word files to complete...it took me all the way till 1am last nite...and its like i only had 4 hours of sleep...but not too bad...i m still feeling ok...then it was 8am class this morning...didnt wanna to get out of bed this morning...hahas...then there were lots of things that went past my mind...am i easily contented with just one thing? thinking over, i was not...this is human nature ba...but as humans, we can choose not to hear, see or feel...but often, we can't, and that's why we are always troubled...reaching this level of age, we can never be that carefree like those children in the playground, blowing bubbles...they don't have any burdens, problems... whereas for us...whenever we are met with one small matter, we tend to blow it big or mess it up...hahas...and am i taking things rightfully into my stride...? was i? been feeling tired these few days...not enough sleep...then my flu is on and off...anw, off to the tv le...-- but before that... happy birthday dear girl...! turn 16 le...though i wish u thru phone yesterday le...hahas... its getting...
Monday, October 24, 2005
first day of the week...and it was not good at all...class was cancelled in the morning...and i was like...out of the house already? if it has came much earlier, i think i will sleep in for another few hours...hahas...but whatever it is, its a fact...i can't change it, so i meet up with ting, cat and alvin came to join along soon after...and we did have a great time chatting...hahas...but the afternoon econs lecture went on fine...actually its good...and mr ho is getting better each lecture...hahas...after that, ting and i was having ice cream craving...so we went to take sundae...hahas... and perhaps to me now, that matter doesn't bothers me anymore...i wouldn't be affected becos of that either...perhaps i should be glad that nothing has greatly affected me thru' out this period of time...and i must thank those very few who has offered to lend their listening ears to me...how few...within the counts of a palm..?(with an addition to the counting now...) really thanks alot...be it the days that are going to be hard to pass becos of some things, the days still pass on without me knowing...rather thinking so much about it, let it go bit by bit, and perhaps it will come when u least expect it...-- phew...
Sunday, October 23, 2005
went for tuition this morning...last session before my student goes for her exams next week...phew...and got my pay too...hahas...oh ya before i forget...happy birthday, yijun...i know i send a testi to wish u le, but wishing u on the actual day it is still the best rites...hahas...take care till u received my present ar...hahas... then another thing that i forgotten to add yesterday was that, my best pal is safely back in Singapore late yesterday nite...hahas...sms with her this morning, she is doing fine...and she owes me a phone call...hahas...2 weeks, quite a lot to update u about... then today...i was practically doing my tutorials...oh my...dunno what has gone into me today...it was tutorials after tutorials, but not all completed yet...hahas... a new week begins tml...i dunno what will be in store for the next week, but i hope nothing big will happen, things shall go on as usual...and hopefully my body can learn to adapt to the early timings that i have to comply to...hahas...though its the second week only... till then, i m turning in for the nite...woke up at 7 this morning...feeling tired...-- tired...
Saturday, October 22, 2005
so tired today...jus had a nice bath...hahas...cos i just reached home after going to the zoo...it has been a long time since i went to the zoo...no big changes la...well, i feel ok about but i think my bro have enjoyed himself best...hahas...woke up this morning at 10 plus with a heavy blocked nose...managed to clear it only an hour after i woke up...hahas...well, i was the last in the family to get up (as usual), this week is the first week of school, then all morning classes, so my body sure gets a little tired though... well, shall not say further, i need to prepare questions for my student tml...for tuition. some things are just...
Friday, October 21, 2005
its fun.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
today's lesson was not too bad...quite fun actually...then after school...yi song, ting, nurul, shan and i went to j8 cos' yi song wans to go there and ask for accompany...so we just tag along ba...then half way thru' shan went off to go and meet her bf, so there was four of us left...then we decided to go coffee bean and take a seat although nurul was still fasting...sorry nurul...hahas...then we joked and laugh...(i think ppl in coffee bean must be thinking that we are mad le...) then after that we went our own ways with yi song meeting his fren, nurul gg home and ting over my place for swim...so ting came over and we went into the pool to swim, then the water was so cold manz...its freezing...then we went for a steambath, which was very comfortable...hahas...[it makes the skin smoother...;)] then she stayed over for dinner, just left ard 8 something...hahas...nice, we had fun...;) so fast, tml is fri again...i need to give tuition again tml...cos school ends at 12...but it starts later by a little at least...so it is not too bad...i can slp in for a while more...girls need their beauty sleep huh...hahas...-- --updated at 1210 -- oh no i think i am slow le, just as i was glancing thru derrick's fan club forum...i just knew...derrick has been signed on with PLAY music...!! hahas...along with sin huey...they are in the same company with wei lian now...hahas... hmmz..
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
hmmz...didn't managed to blog in yesterday...very tired...hahas...erm...what lesson was i having yesterday? marketing and econs? not too bad...quite fun too...;) since the start of this week, i think i am lacking of my sleep...hahas...though at least i have 5 hours of sleep each night...but i still feel that i am still sleepy every morning...hahas..very bad rite...and i think i will cut down on the number of times going online le...then early in the morning, so sianz mah...so go msg ppl and disturb...;) then on the other hand, his side seems to be quiet...maybe the feelings only lingers around when he starts to talk to me, if not...i dun feel so much of it actually...plus stef is not around, it makes it even emptier...but at least i can find ppl online to talk to...hahas...and thanks to that listening ear that is always around somewhere to listen to my problems...;) well, will blog in later if there are other things to be updated about...-- sianz
Monday, October 17, 2005
today was the first day of school...had effective writing and mircoeconomics...hahas...effective writing was boring. well i admit that, 4 periods at one go...imagine...hahas...better don't...hard also. then econs was around there, see the same lecturer, so no big difference. but i am tired...wake up so early this morning to go to school...hahas...but my body should be able to take it ba...hahas...everyone still look the same, on the first day, and i bumped into jan already...hahas...we have fate la...~~ hahas...then need textbooks and lecture notes...hahas...textbooks...i m gonna to exchange with jan...so i dun need to buy...then as for lecture notes, get it module by module, if not at one time, it is expensive ok...as compared to last semester's... hopefully there is time to do some shopping when i get my pay end of this month for tuition....and guess what, i m giving tuition this wed, fri and sun...so this week's schedule is packed a little...hahas...but it is ok..i m earning money too...and my tuition kid's exams are next week, understandable why her mum wants tuition for so many days...hahas... maybe i don't have so much time to think about other things since school started already...but to ask me not to think...not quite possible huh...hahas...oh ya...nurul wants me to help her check something...hahas...nearly forget...;) but just sometimes, some things are meant not to be forgotten... -- hahas..
Sunday, October 16, 2005
didn't blog in yesterday bcecos' i was watching vcd..hahas...then from 9pm all the way to 2am in the morning...then nearly couldn't get up this morning....;)then today went bugis to see what can i add to my closet of clothes, but sadly, nope, i shall get some when i am out the next time...hahas...but at least i've got a pair of pump shoes from U.R.S inc. nearly got another pair...but the price was........very steep...!!! so gave up on that...(wait till i have the money...hahas...) all rite, this tv addict is gonna to watch vcd again...till then, see ya, for my poly frens, in school tml...;) erm...
Friday, October 14, 2005
went out for lunch today...hahas...then, after that went bukit timah plaza's ntuc to stock up those food stuffs at home...hahas...(although i am going back to school already...!) then i saw shu ting...hahas...i knew she will be there today...hahas...so fast, another 2 days, i will be travelling all the way to yck again...hahas...and this time, its early in the morning...i think most of the business school de all have morning classes, and seems like no one escapes from at least a day class starting at 8 am...hahas...4 months only...bear with it, wil be over soon..hahas...(seems to be comforting myself only...hahas...) and my mood this whole holiday...hmmz...have ups and downs, but things seems to be always happening when i m down more...hahas...well, perhaps when school starts, guess i wouldn't time to think about them even...hahas... -- live my life the way i want to be, not the way the others want me to be... well...
Thursday, October 13, 2005
caught a flu bug again while changing my bedsheets...hahas...just sneezing so badly manz...hahas...well, i might be a little harsh on my blog entry yesterday, but it wasn't on intention...my mood was not feeling that well yesterday, anw, it hasn't be really that good these few weeks either...perhaps it did reached its deepest point ever...-- maybe. then cin lee, my junior msg me asking whether i could bring stef along for an bbq during the month of nov, which is their holidays...and it was not ours...hahas...so i shall see...cos, i have morning school on wed...so if reach home late, then cannot get up in the morning...hahas...then i m in trouble le...;) well then, we shall see when time comes along... another 3 days, school starts...so fast manz...hopefully mummy is gonna to get me more stuffs when we are getting out this weekend...;) how to say...
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
skip off the same old things tonite...let's touch on to something that i have never mentioned about...friends around, arguing...whether in conversations, or maybe in any form of communication...i will keep my arguments down with close friends around...really...but to people whom i argued before...was i really arguing...it seems to get so tired in arguing...is arguing meant to be a defend for oneself or just for the fun of it...when will it be the serious times and when will it be not...? does arguing needs the element of smartness or even being quick-witted...? outspoken? or just with that little sense of logic...that is sufficient...? and does arguing meant speak without thinking? if it is, then be it... speak without thinking to me is being straightforward, but to me...i might be straightforward, but i still consider what the other person might feel even when i speak straightforwardly... i can go very harsh on someone who doesn't know how to think in the right way...but since i am straightforward, i should be prepared to receive straightforward comments...but i am taught, to be able to say a piece of advice to ppl, it must first apply to myself...but to others, when you say about ppl, have it ever crossed your mind that, did it apply to yourself too...?? -- think about it... i need my best pal around...i need to pour my troubles out...but she is not around...even she is, her time is not for me...maybe, she still needs me...but with her someone who is always arguing with me, its hard to pour my troubles out...she wouldn't have secrets with her guy...that is what couples always do...to be honest...its painful to keep them, but i think it is more painful if i pour them out...-- [sorry if there is any offends...] hmph...
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
got my timetable for semester 2 already..and dear me...morning classes...!!! with mon and wed starting at 8am, tues and thurs at 9am and fri at 10am...but luckily, no nite classes this semester...hahas...;) and my latest class end is at 5 pm...so it is good...though i have to wake up early...been waking up late this holiday...later when school reopens, i cannot get up then terrible le...hahas...here's a reply to yijun...(lazy to go frenster and re-comment again..so just do it here...hahas..) true, the school is not blind...gossip will just kill anyone who has something to keep...isn't it? to me, i also feel the same way as you do, why should i keep a relationship in secret when i know i m happy when i am in the relationship? if i dun keep it, then wat difference it makes from the gossips? ppl in the school still knows about it...then it will go to the teachers...then the same old cycle will happens...a relationship is between two persons, yes i know, you would want to share your happiness...ppl around you, your best frens, will congrat you...but a relationship...is always between two...what are the feelings inside only you two knows, will others be able to feel it...? think about it... parents might be demanding...and i know not all parents think in this way...my parents didn't think that relationships should be part of my secondary school life...but they still managed to find out about one...so? i should be glad that i have teachers who keeps it from my parents then, for the other relationship...? the purpose of letting my parents know, is to let my parents know that i have made my decision and i want them to respect my decision...they might not help, and they might even flare up...but at least they know what you are going thru' becos' they have gone thru' it too...that's why, when my mummy could open up more and talked to me, i feel an unknown sense of happiness...a feeling that i cannot describe...sometimes, some things doesn't solve even it is just the 2 of you..trust me...you would tend to give in more than what you do, and that will not be yourself anymore... i believe teenagers doesn't make impulse decisions, i have also thought that i am too, but i was wrong, i was not...at times...no matter how clear-headed i was, i could still make mistakes...by taking the wrong step...it is not that parents treat us like kids who don't know how to think...it is the way of how you talk to your parents and how you can open your heart to them...i don't believe they dun understand...they might tell you their generation is like this...but u must be able to convince them that the present generation doesn't allow them to think it this way...is the way of how you spent the effort to speak...you are their flesh and blood, i dun believe they wouldn't listen to what you have to say...parents are still parents... pain is something that will stick with you forever de...you cannot shake it off becos' you don't want any of it anymore...pain, happiness, tears, worries, all these feelings comes in a cycle...it will go on and on...that is the fact becoz u accept it as that you are weak...no one can tell u that u are not, becos' u admit it already...then what else can anyone say? and would it make any difference if anyone mentions further? spend some time..think about it... hmmz...
Monday, October 10, 2005
woke up at 10 this morning...as usual took my breakfast...then watch tv all day...tonite...dun need to elaborate de...those who read my blog often, knows that since last week, on mondays, i will not miss superfunkies de...hahas...though school is gonna start soon, real soon... in one week's time...the chalet starts off today..but i didn't go...no particular reason why...just didn't go...then shwa juan msg me just now, asking me if i wanna go movies...her all time fav...horror movies, which is my weak spot...hahas...and they haven set the date so didn't confirm with her, and nowadays movie tickets' price has increased...for me, i would spend it on shopping, frankly speaking...hahas...but once in a while for movies is okay...but shwa juan, can't stay out too long, she needs to get home by a certain time rite...so we cannot go far to watch movies or hangout...;) then by this week i need to complete the present for someone who request for his gift...hahas...cos once school starts next week, i don't think i have time to complete le...hahas...then that someone, better leave one of the days free next week to collect your gift from me...[you can't choose it your way...;) ] then enting, jan they all haven confirmed whether they are coming over yet...upon reading...do tag or msg...hahas...;) maybe...i tend to depend a little more to my buddy in confiding my problems...that's why when she is not around, somehow...it feels slightly weird...but i am adapting very well...cos' i still have good friends that are around, though buddy ranks the most impt... sometimes i wonder...am i deceiving myself or what...do i have feelings for him...or am i just wasting time on someone who is not going to spend time on me... --maybe... someday...
Sunday, October 09, 2005
stef left for cambodia today...she doesn't need me, this bestie around to miss her a little, becoz her bf is missing her lots...more than enough for her to take..hahas...;) [that's what i feel...really...hahas..]anyway, went to tuition with a bad flu today...real bad...came home, took my medication...which is very very bitter...then went to sleep for around 2 hours i think...drowsy...sunday life...hmmz...as usual...hahas...forever just slacking around..;) life without his input seems normal these few weeks...but somehow something seems to be lacking...can't figure out becoz i haven found my answer...profound huh...even i myself is confused about this...he just seems so far away, how am i supposed to reach him? cool...
Saturday, October 08, 2005
saturday...8 oct...am i missing something...yups...just called stef in the evening...she is leaving singapore for cambodia tml afternoon...she'll be back in 2 weeks...(school will have reopen by then for me...hahas...) 2 weeks' time...hmmz...22 oct...reaching singapore in the night...22 oct...i m going to the zoo...with my family...hahas...since a long time manz...lots of things to be completed this only week...hmmz...clear my old modules away, new clothes, top up my concession...wat else...? hahas...so many things...then starting on my book...the chicken soup for the teenage soul IV...hahas...bought it for some time le, but no time to read it... sometimes just feel that heaven puts us in difficulty spots...someone can be close to you for that few seconds, but the next moment, even if they are only a few steps away, you'll find it hard to reach them...which sometimes make people feel so depressing...the fate of belief and trust is just a step difference, but the terms of best fren and confident is just a line difference...just that little space makes a big change... today...a...
Friday, October 07, 2005
went to get the best of jue dui superstar album...hahas...then yesterday slept at 2 am cos i was chatting with old frens...hahas...managed to solve that confused mind of mine lots...yups really...perhaps there is a direction to move on...? but i don't deny the fact that sometimes some things just don't matter in my eyes anymore or perhaps for the time being...when it is not my worries, perhaps i should cast it aside, even it is gonna concern close frens around... --maybe.chalet is confirmed le...but i m very lazy to get out of the house ya...hahas...see how ba...cos ever since the holidays started, i am a tv lover...and vcd lover too...hahas...not mentioning the cd too...hahas...so many... going shopping next week to prepare for poly new semester...so fast, in 2 months' time, celebrating christmas le...then it will be countdown for 2006...time just flies too fast...some things just couldn't follow the pace of time... with so many things happening, i have learnt that some things cannot be rushed de...need time, need fate, need luck...frens ard also said that...some things just needed to be slowed down... --perhaps... great...!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
didn't blog in for two days le...hahas...cos i was lazy cum busy ya...yups...finally i solved my computer's problem and i can blog more often le...hahas...these few days was at home, clearing stuffs to prepare for school...hahas..yups. i will msg enting quick enough to arrange a meeting with her...if she is reading this...hahas...shd be next week ba...;)oct 4: was clearing stuffs in my room...hahas...layer of dust manz...hahas... oct 5: yesterday...woke up late...so after breakfast, went to pick my my brother becoz mummy is working...then stef msg me in the evening when she just woke up from her slp...she had just came back from her camp...hahas...she needs her space with her darls...hahas... today...hahas...just finished washing my bag...later have to clear my closet of clothes...so that new clothes can be hanged in...hahas...gonna repaint my nails later...hahas... that sense of emptiness seems to fade away as time goes by...maybe that is becoz i have learnt to adapt what is supposed to be...some things just to accept it as what it is supposed to be...perhaps i shd be glad that frens are always around to fill up that emptiness... today...hmmz...
Monday, October 03, 2005
its raining heavily outside now...went for my dental today...sadly, i dun think that my braces are gonna to be remove within these 2 months at least, i supposed so...and today...it's painful...but it will be okay within a few days' time...came back home, took my dinner then i was in front of my tv after that, first watched the channel u's 730 show...a jap drama...then followed by superfunkies...! hosted by the project superstar contestants...and their special guest was 5566...so how could i have miss it? hahas...and then after that, was chatting with my family members and here i m blogging...hahas... didn't blog in yesterday...my cousins came over...and i was like so busy...my sister was busy too as well...hahas...poor us...hahas... stef went for camp today...she will msg me when she is back on wed...;) shopping...and mummy promises me that she will bring me to shop before my school reopens...hahas... till then, take care ppl... great day...
Saturday, October 01, 2005
   %20of%20scan0002.jpg)  %20of%20scan0001.jpg) %20of%20scan0001.jpg) %20of%20scan0002.jpg) went out with stef today...meet at ps first at ard 12 plus...hahas...then we went to take photos...then she always press the wrong button, always the 6 shots instead of 12 shots that she wanted...hahas...always so blur...but at least i met her up before she is going to combodia...sobz...hahas...then after taking lunch at pastamania...we couldn't decide where to go, so...we went esplanade, that was the place that we wanted to go so badly...so we went there at least before she left singapore, although i know she should be accompanied by her bf...hahas..next time ask yr bf to bring you there lor..hahas..took pics again with my phone...she is just so clever...hahas..(she will say that she is always...hahas..) esplanade, we saw the preview for peter pan...hahas...she again wanted to see that, but she is not ard during that time in singapore...so we went to take a glimpse of it...quite nice...;) then went to check out the price of the superstar album at HMV since we passed by there, its $19.95...dunno other places sell how much...then 5566's gai ban not out yet...if anyone knows when the gai ban is out, inform me ya..thru' my tagboard...hahas.. all rites i think that's about it...anw, i dun think i will be able to blog in everyday due to the technical problems i have on my notebook, till i find a way to solve it...-- |
Goodbye.
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